Begins from within

For as long as I can remember, I've always felt out of step. Fitting in wasn't something I could ever relate to; oftentimes, it seemed as though I was constantly fighting against the current of society. Even as a child, I was seen as the girl who was always a little off. But as I sit in this cafe in Costa Rica and write this post, things start to become clear. Traveling the past three months in Latin America has shown me that I never felt like I fit in because I didn't. I wasn't meant to. I always knew my path would be different, but just never understand what that path was. Even throughout college, nothing felt like it fit me. I didn't truly know who I was or what my purpose was. Some could say that's a normal part of life and that, at times, many of us don't feel like we fit in. But for me, I don't think that's true at all. I wasn't meant for the typical path, to stick behind a desk for hours at a time; I wasn't meant to blend in.

When I left San Francisco in April to solo travel, as many have done, I had no idea what was in store. I'll admit, I was incredibly nervous and scared, but I also felt so sure. I knew 100% that this was the path for me. Of course, I loved living in the Bay Area, but I knew I had grown and learned as much from that place as I needed. I grew up there, I met people who I call my family today, and experienced the darkest of pains and challenges I never thought I'd ever experience. But I wasn't in that place anymore. I was ready to grow myself behind pains and challenges. I was ready for growth through remarkable cultures, mouthful food, and the most beautiful languages. I wanted to experience breathing-taking moments in the world I was born into. I was ready for pure joy, and I can say from the bottom of my heart I've experienced all of that.

Of course, there have been plenty of downs. This trip hasn't been perfect, but that's what I've loved about it. It's given me challenges I never would've experienced back in California, and that's why I left. I wanted to allow myself to learn and grow outside my comfort zone. I know life will always have happy moments, but the

challenging and painful moments really help us grow. That's life. It's a hard statement to accept because painful moments can alter us completely. I have emotional scars from moments in my life that will never fully heal. But that's what has pushed me into who I am today, and I wouldn't change any of that.

Although a little different than my other blog posts, I wanted to write this out because I wanted to show the internal side of this adventure. I've definitely had a lot of ups and downs in life, as anybody has. But this year has been the first year ever where I've felt calm and utter joy throughout it. I've learned SO much about this beautiful world and met the most extraordinary people. I now have friends from all over who come from entirely different backgrounds. I wouldn't have life any other way. I want to thank all of you for following along on my trip and being genuinely interested in what I'm up to. I've met all of you throughout different stages of my life, and I am so incredibly grateful that you've stuck with me.

I will end this post with an update on my career life. I'm sure many of you anticipated that after my travels, I would come back to the Bay Area and return to corporate life. Well, from reading this blog post, I'm sure you've learned that that isn't a life that was ever meant for me. For the past two months, I've been working with a business coach and studying to become a life coach. I know this may confuse, shock, and be questionable for many of you. But honestly, if you truly know me, you'll understand how perfect this job and career is for me. Like I said above, I always felt like I was stumbling through life and never felt like anything fit for me. But something I've always consistently loved is people. I love talking to them, writing about them, and understanding them. But above all, I love helping people. I know after all the experiences I've been through, I'm meant to take what I've learned and use it to help other people in life. If you have questions at all ever or are even a little curious, don't be afraid to reach out and talk to me about it.

Much love,

xx Caroline

[If you need a refresher on what a life coach is, my life coach, who helped me in 2018, Sandra Possing describes it as essentially hanging out with a really honest friend. Someone who understands and believes in your dreams and wants the absolute best for you, but they also aren't afraid to call you out on things and ask difficult questions. Life coaches help mentor and coach people with things like self-awareness, working on goals, and helping them move forward in life. They focus on the present and the future and talk you through things but then get you into action.]